The man with the magic 5 iron, and bookies favourite for the 2024 PSC is none other than Michael Draper. After a second place finish behind arch nemesis Cliffdog in 2023, Drapes has been grinding away on a new swing. While on the subject, 30 seconds of magic on Hamilton Island means he’ll be looking to the trophy to hold the Holy Water sometime in 2025, and no doubt be inspired to take the jacket home to the growing tribe.

Drapes’ weekly sessions under the tutelage of mentor Brent Barlow has straightened out and lengthened his driver and added club head speeds that no would ever expect from our favourite cartoon food critic. He has made multiple trips to Lonsdale Links to sharpen his wind game, and provided he has access to a healthy diet of fruit, vegetables and Malibu and Soda, he should be a shoo-in slipping into beige coat of dreams.

While the flood plains of Graceville and the hills of Gailes have served him well this year, will the new game and the pressures of favouritism hold up to the wind and rain that generally besets the north eastern corner of Tasmania in August. Only time will tell. Nae wind’ nae golf.

After a year spent building a sizeable slush fund for future Classics, it seems fitting to kick off the 2021 player profiles with the biggest contributor to the Punter’s Club, Magnus Carlsen.

Born in the Norwegian municipality of Tonsberg, Magnus grew up to be the Grandmaster Flash, and his win against Hikaru Nakamura in April 2020 catapulted him into Siddler folklore. Magnus is recognised as a polymath, founding Bitcoin and writing several best selling novels. His mad skills transferred to the sporting arena where he has played for both Real Madrid and the Rajasthan Royals.

He currently resides in a castle under the Balearic Sea with his partner, and pet wombat Tony.

In the first of 2019’s player profiles, we catch up with Cliffy, the pulse of the PSC, for better or worse.

With the burden of the captaincy weighing heavily on his shoulders on the Gold Coast, the relief was evident in Cliffy’s demeanour in Tasmania. Cliffy recently reflected:

‘Being captain of a PSC team is one of life’s greatest privileges and is something I will always look back on very fondly. Due to the importance of this office, significant time needs to be spent on opposition analysis, and optimum team pairings so it does take a large toll on your family life. Since completing my stint as captain I’ve been able to focus on the banter’.

Word on the street is that Imodium and Dude Wipes have entered into a sponsorship bidding war for Cliff’s services in Adelaide, his image rights likely to be the only stumbling block (see picture above). Cliff sees the whole incident as a non-issue, with plenty of off season work to address the follow through issues experienced in Tasmania:

‘I’ve been working on my sphincter strength. I need full confidence that in any condition I can attempt a 100% swing without any repercussions. In addition I’ve been trying really hard to focus on the mental side of things, being a lot calmer. Which may or may not be related to not being concerned about $hitting myself during a swing.’

If Cliff can keep the gecko’s out of the golf bag, he is a sleeper (bubbles and all) for the jacket race and is sure to be an asset to whichever team he lands on.

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In this installment we turn our attention to the PSC03 jacket winner Kevin Prior.

Coming in to PSC04 with a career low handicap, KP will be defending his individual title from within Team Tone, and the positivity within the new team environment can only strengthen his chances of going back to back.

A worthy winner in 2017, KP held his nerve down the stretch as the competition fell away leaving him a couple of putts on the last at Lakelands. The jacket this year has seen weddings, sporting excursions and was proudly worn at the christening of his own child (top marks).

No longer an unknown quantity, Kev’s much improved short game will be tested on the tighter lies around the Tasmanian greens with the fescue surrounds far more demanding than the couch grass of the Gold Coast. Hopefully the patchy Sir Walter in Bardon serves as a suitable training ground.

We only hope the vomit emitted at Draper’s wedding has not tainted the jacket or his chances in PSC04.

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PSC04 sees two new teams battling it out for the bragging rights at Barnbougle in November. In the second of our player profiles we take a look at Doug’s opposing captain and relative newbie Siddler, Tone Prior.

Tone announced himself to the Siddlers with stunning trousers and solid golf at PSC02 on the Mornington Peninsula. Despite being on opposing sides George and Tone, the forty somethings, bonded quickly over poetry, drunken story telling ability (Slowly across the desert sand….) and a shared love of the g string.

Cruelly handicapped for PSC03, Tone battled ably and like the Leatherman prizes so kindly donated/pilfered, had all the tools in the bag to rile the opposition captain and tip him into a state of total mental disintegration. Tone is relishing his self appointed role as PSC Integrity Officer, a high profile position and one that may be called into action with Barnbougle playing Irish Drop rules.

‘The Beard’ announced himself in stunning fashion with a display of ball-striking previously unseen on Team Cliff. Forty-eight points on the first afternoon at Hope Island sent the handicapping committee scurrying for their guide books and his skipper into a state of rapture. Solid performances across the final days (off a reduced 27 handicap) earned Doug a permanent invite to the Classic and a ticket to Draper’s wedding!

A Chinchilla lad and father of three, Doug came to the Classic vouched for by his Downland’s frat boy Tone Prior. Their love of military garb was a glimpse into Doug’s sartorial future with his sharp scripting over the three days on the GC creating further controversy as he dethroned Rickie for the title of ‘best dressed’ on course.

Fair to say Doug has the golf bug and as a first time visitor to Barney and first time captain, Doug has his work cut out to ensure his team is in their best shape physically and mentally (more on Cliffy later).